The Often Unconscious Promotion of Lust is Seeking to Destroy the Very Fabric of American Society
Posted: Tuesday, May 06, 2008
by Jeff Brown
Inner Projection
All too often in today's sights, sounds, words, and images (movies, television, music, magazines, and the internet) lust is promoted as love, but what is this lust? How do we define lust? Before we do so, in order to understand in greater detail, let's take a look in brief at the difference between lust and its cousin love.
Lust is easy.
Lust is superficial.
Lust is childish.
Lust is immediate satisfaction.
Lust is fleeting.
Lust is worldly.
Lust is singular.
Lust is self-satisfaction.
Lust is private.
Lust is dark.
Lust fails.
Love is sacrifice.
Love is growth.
Love lasts.
Love is engaging.
Love is light.
Love is promoted.
Love is success.
Love is work.
Love is mature.
Love is eternal.
Love is growth.
Love lasts.
Love is engaging.
Love is light.
Love is promoted.
Love is success.
Love is work.
Love is mature.
Love is eternal.
Love is merit.
Love works.
Unfortunately, in the media and other sources, lust is often spoken of as love. But what is this lust? According to some, any time one seeks to satisfy one's sexual urges above and beyond any consideration for the other, this self-seeking is labeled as lust. Even if you don't agree with the above definition, you more likely agree that people rarely speak of the redeaming value of lust. Love works.
The young oftentimes mistake this fleeting emotion connected to the physical as love and follow it through to its logical conclusion too quickly, oftentimes resulting in an unwanted child, and considering that there is an estimated 46 million abortions world wide every year, the need for an understanding of the consequences of lust is obvious. (Certainly, a lack of proper birth control education throughout the world is a major cause, but here at home, more and more of our youth use abortion as a form of birth control.) But what are the main inducers of this lust phenomenon?
Certainly, we see that the young female singers who are being promoted by their managers and record companies eventually are told to get sexy. Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, all began modestly but over time were advised to spice things up. In addition, up and coming young actresses are often counseled to promote themselves by disrobing to some degree. And the effect of this overt sexuality on the fan is sometimes alarming.
One semester at a local LA college, my students were presenting oral research projects concerning national social issues. One group spoke specifically to the issue of sexuality being promted to our youth by "sexy" performers. One student in the group spoke of going to a Britney Spears concert with two other young women and several children; the children ranging in age from 10 to 14 years old. This was early in Spears' career before her more lurid concerts were known widely by the general public.
During the concert, the young lady told my class that she was so shocked and embarrassed by Spears' sex simulations that she walked out with her young entourage in tow. But this is just the tip of the iceburg. The real culprit lies at the underbelly of our society . . . in droves.
Pornography is the secret destroyer of lives, oftentimes ensnaring not only the usual suspects, adult men, but another less publicized and known group.
"70 percent of men ages 18 to 24 visit porn sites each month . . . ‘90 percent of 8- to 16-year-olds have viewed porn online,' and . . . ‘the average age of a child's first exposure to pornography on the Internet is 11.'" (Archbishop George H. Niederauer qtd. in http://www.diocese-sacramento.org/herald/articles/070519pornography.html)
It is our youth, 17 to 25, who are the main group of those who get caught in the addiction of pornography, an addiction that has to a great degree inspired an increase in sexual predators, abortions, and STD's, all that have increased markedly since the proliferation of easy-access pornography on the internet, ipods, and cell phones.
It is a huge industry, meaning, very popular. Pornography out earns country and rock ‘n roll combined and generates more annual income than America's three major sports. Yet to a great degree, it goes undetected because of its insidious nature.
All of these factors combined, along with inexperience, put our youth in a dangerous and vulnerable position. Therefore, it is essential, it is vital, it is imperative that parents wake to the call and get on the bandwagon to make their children aware of the problem regardless of how awkward or difficult it is to breach the subject.
Lust and all its adherents, work to destroy the deeper, longer lasting, merit imbued nature of love, of connecting beyond the physical, to building lasting relationships built on mutual trust, sharing, bonding, an invoking of the eternal and significant beyond the raw and profane.
Through love, through intimacy, through sacrifice, a giving, one learns lessons that are not only significant to the couple, but to the family, the children, that is broadcasted through meaningful, poignant, and touching acts of kindness and compassion, parent to parent to child. And the child, the children, the sponges, take these lessons to heart and pass them on to friends, on to others, these touching lessons of the heart branching out exponentially to one and then another and another and another, creating a fabric of trust and hope and love that builds not tears down society.
It is the family that is at the foundation of any society and must do its best to nurture and uphold all that is good, meaningful, honest, of merit, of worth, of importance to the uplifting of the individual and her soul:
"The approaching tenth anniversary of the International Year of the Family had prompted many governments to reaffirm the critical importance of the family as a central unit of society." (www.un.org 2004)
"The newly published Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church dedicates one of its first chapters to the institution of the family, described as "the vital cell of society." (Vatican Compendium on the Importance of the Family www.zenit.org 2004)
It is in the family where one needs to learn important truths and principles that will not only aid in creating a stronger family but those principles will be taken into school halls, business meetings, all gatherings public and private to create a better society. It is where one learns discipline, respect for self and others, cooperation, humor, laughter and play.
"Marriage requires collaboration, commitment and a sense of responsibility; these things equip us to choose and to work together towards a "we, us" or " together" orientation. We must strive to develop a deeper knowledge of the importance of the family and family values in Islam in order to deal with the powerful forces that surround us."
We must set aside a special time each week for our family members to enjoy one another, communicate, plan, and study Islam together. Husbands and wives need to spend time together talking and striving to have a sense of humor. They need to exercise self-control because when either of them gets angry and loses control, the effects can be wounding. Our tempers can get us into big problems." (Kassaimah Muslim Homes: Islamic Family Values in An Anti-Family Society www.missionislam.com 2007)
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives-mothers and fathers-will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations." (Gordon B. Hinkley "The Family: A Proclamation to the World")
If we nurture in our children this unrelentingness of pure love, of the eternal over that of the temporary and transitory lust, if we are able to get our children to look at the opposite sex as those of great worth, meaning, character, and potential, then the images of the shallow, insignificance of lust will find greater and greater challenge in staying alive in the hearts and minds of our youth. It is essential that they know deeply of the significant difference between intimacy or love and mere lust and physical sex.
According to Dr. James MacArthur, he states that lust is saying that "What I want is narrow, just physical and sexual. I only want a part of you to use it to satisfy me." He goes on to say "Let's be honest here. You're really not interested in the person when you're lustful: you're interested in their sexuality, and you can isolate that. You can even do that in a picture." He concludes by saying that "Anytime your love . . . excessively [focuses] on their body for sexual stimulation, then it is not love."
By lusting, one often puts themselves or their needs above the other, not a very democratic or moral perspective. And it is this lifting of the self above the needs or concern for the other that leads to downfall elsewhere in one's character and understanding or perception of the world around them. As one takes on this self-serving mindset, how does it translate to other areas of life beyond sexual relationships? To the work place? Society in general? How does it cloud the individual's perception?
Intimacy and love comes about through sharing, a mutual give and take, an interest in what the other thinks, a sharing of ideas and interests, a putting of the self on hold to aid and encourage the other, for there is nothing more that we cherish than to have others interested in us, especially if that interest is long lasting and sincere.
For all of us, it is time to take a look at the serious repercussions of lust in our lives. How it affects our lives, the lives of our children, our friends, and society as a whole. May we do what is right to improve the situation for all concerned.
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)hi Jeff, yes, i agree. and might i add that the pressure employed by various magazines targeted towards young women, are also supporting this confusion of what a woman's worth is. this is largely the reason why so many women suffer from eating disorders, or they throw themselves into debt by engaging in plastic services. all of these things feed into the minds of women, that they are sex objects, and that is what men are looking for in women. we don't even need pornography to be objectified; society objectifies us enough. Materialism also feeds into this superficiality: greed, lust, fear of growing older, fear of losing sex appeal, fear of losing your man to a younger woman.. i personally know women who, in their early thirties are getting regular botox treatments, facial peels, etc..they spend far more on these things then they can afford too, and for what? they do it mistaking love for lust. it's sad and frightening. great article!Jennifer, Thanks for responding. And it's true, pornography or its acceptance and proliferation is just a symptom of the larger problem, and it seems to be getting worse, meaning more acceptable. When we have porno stars moving into mainstream, porno seen as a "cool thing," shown by the proliferation of sex videos on the internet, magazines by the dozens showing near naked women on magazine stands prominently displayed for all children to see, commercials (Paris Hilton's porno car wash), movies, television shows showing more and more often . . . It appears the only thing to do is to petition our gov., Hollywood, and other sources to stop the influx of excessive smut. Thanks again for stopping by.hey, you're tellin' me..i just got back from Las vegas where prostitution is legal. pity that i can't help but wonder how many of them are forced into it, kidnapped from other countries with false offers of legitimate job opportunities
Jeff, bravo on an excellent piece! My head spins in this "anything goes" society that we live in and lust is a key culprit with the kids today yet the parents don't really know how to set boundaries themselves. Professionally, I own an advertising agency and personally I am a wife and mother and have always rebelled against the theory that "sex sells" because the kids buy into it whole heartedly. As an older mom, unfortunately I witness many of the moms of today refusing to grow up themselves thinking it cute to purchase a stripper pole for their 5 year old so that their child can learn pole dancing... Recently, Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montanna was in the news for her photo shoot done for Vanity Fair topless -- what on earth were her parents thinking of for that child -- the pose was way too seductive for a 15 year old and, as an artist, I know that many different uses of lighting effects can create beautiful, dramatic work fully clothed. This child should have never been photographed topless even if it was for the sake of art. Dating today? As a step mother of 2 older children I can attest that dating today is no more than social masturbation... oh, geez, I'm sorry for going on and on but you struck a chord here and I applaud your boldness within this article. I'll be quiet now... Thanks!Judi, Rants are perfectly fine. As a matter of fact, I just logged onto the computer here after listening to my wife rant about this very subject . . . in a very heated fashion. It is an important subject, one that all to often goes ignored. Many see people who get upset by lust in the media as being stuffed shirts, old fashioned, or fuddy duds. However, this lusting is destroying men, women, marriages . . . people, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is at an insidiousness of epidemic proportions and needs to be addressed. Thanks for stopping by . . . and venting.
hi jeff, "...parents wake to the call and get on the bandwagon to make their children aware of the problem regardless of how awkward or difficult it is to breach the subject...." i think this is the key, and the most mportant words of your artcle, althought i enjoyed them all as far as a good, well written article. is it easier to breach the subject of abortion or adoption, when one's daughter, or one's son's girlfriend gets pregnant? as long as the kids buy the clothes that show all, they will make them, no? lust is only one of the problems of not only our young kids, but our adults. and it is a huge problem. thanks for sharing, best regards, sue thomSue, oh so true. This needs to be discussed so much more than it is, as you imply. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great week!
Hey Jeff, Immediate, isn't that what todays society is all about! Isn't that what lust is all about too? If it continues to grow and fluorish, L U S T will become the newest T.V. station's call letters and the the internet site that gives a synthetic sexual stimulation for a small fee. In all my years of being alive, never have I seen so much lusting for everything: cars, jewelry, women, men, anything else material or otherwise. Only an end can come when, like the end of so many civilizations, we are forced to stop this craziness because of distruction caused by a nuclear war, horrid climatic changes, a dread disease, or a celestial calamity. We'll be too busy with satisfying ourselves to even notice.Jeanne, Wow! Well said. Would you write my next article, please? You couldn't be more accurate. Some people I know are saying we are in the final years of existence, that like the Roman Empire which got caught up in debauchery and lust, we are going to implode not explode from all this self-indulgence. True or not, we're in a sad state of affairs. Thanks for commenting.
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