Words of Wisdom: What to Say, Think, and Do to Live the Perfect Life

Tape your mouth and sit on your hands, then meet with each of your children once a week. 

Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.

When you say, "I love you", mean it.

When I say, "I love you," mean it.

When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.

Be engaged at least one year before you get married.

Believe in love at first sight . . . then get ready for reality.

Fix in your head the most terrible lie someone ever told to you. Now turn to the person in front of you and try to lie.  

Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

Open pop bottles with your teeth well into your nineties.

Don't judge people by their relatives . . . but take a real close look before you marry.  

Let your words follow your heart not your head or anyone else's head.

When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "When are you leaving for your home planet?"

When your mom asks you to take out the garbage, do it the first time.

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Call your mom.

After work, kick that pebble on the way into the house, put that stick in your back pocket, jump in the puddle, swing, laugh at nothing, cry because your wife cooked asparagus again. Now go hug your kids 

Say "bless you" as a form of kindness not as the god Apollo.

When you lose, congratulate the winner and think of solutions. When you win, congratulate the loser and think of solutions. Repeat until dead. 

Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

Think bigger thoughts. Don't let a little dispute ruin your relationship with a loved one . . .

Then take yourself to a higher plane and don't let it ruin your relationship with a stranger.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

Look forward to making mistakes.

Don't excuse your mistakes.

Abraham Lincoln and George Washington made big mistakes.

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Bend over to talk to a child.

Sit on the ground, pull your knees up to your chest and talk to another one. 

Marry someone you love to talk to, for youth has a way of evaporating over time.

Spend some time alone. Repeat.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Get on a crowded elevator and face the back wall . . . then say nothing . . . 

Read more books and watch less TV.

Put your TV outside and throw an Axe Party. Repeat. 

Trust in God but lock your car.

Fight the good fight, but when you get home, make sure you've done the work to create a proper sanctuary.

Don't say anything in anger. Let it subside and then work it out.

Read between the lines, then look over them to the truths eternity holds.

Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

Don't look for immortality in your accomplishments. Let it come through the love you share.

Be gentle with the earth.

But hit yourself in the head firmly when you need it.

Every day, pick up loose change on the library floor, then bless a stranger with a coin path from the sidewalk.

Pray. But focus on others.

Never interrupt when you are being flattered. When the person is done, simply say "Thank you."

Avoid reality TV, game shows, and Entertainment Tonight.

Don't trust anyone who doesn't close their eyes when they kiss. 

Once a week, take a different route home from work.

Scare yourself often . . . but be gentle, we love you too much. 

If you want to be rich, focus on helping people.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

Lincoln failed in business and politics many times, until he reached success in his late forties.

Washington lost most of his battles in the American Revolution.

You get turned down by most of the people you ask out.

Learn the rules then break as many as you should.  

Genius lives in simplicity. 

One fish. Two fish. Red fish. Blue fish.

Avoid controversy in tearing people apart, but stir it up when trying to help.

Listen to, read, and view what's popular. Then ignore it.

At one time in America, slavery and the oppression of woman were popular.

Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

Love is the desire to give 100% while looking for nothing in return.

Real love functions in an arena void of abuse.

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Give up short term pleasure for the long term joy of deeper satisfaction.

Fail a lot but keep going, especially if you plan on helping a lot of people. These are God's favorite people to watch.

Remember that your character is your destiny.

Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. 

Think Big. But help in small measures.

Now get out there and do it!