10 Things to Do to Get 3 Billion People Absolutely Nothing
Posted: Tuesday, November 04, 2008
by Jeff Brown
Inner Projection
I hate lists.
Why?
Well, maybe
because there's just too damn many of them. Also because what they are trying to solve can't be solved with a simple list. If it were that easy, everyone would just follow the list and then we wouldn't need any more lists.
And what's with the number 10? I've seen lists with 5, 15, 20 even, but 10 seems to reign supreme. But I guess that's another article.
But before we go deeper, here's some lists to get a feel for what these lists, list.
10 Business Mistakes to Avoid to Prevent Your Business from Failing
10 Things Your Real Estate Broker Will Not Tell You
10 Things Users Do to Mess Up Their Computers
10 Things Your Hospital Won't Tell You
10 Things Men Never Say
10 Things Your Restaurant Won't Tell You
10 Things You Didn't Know About You
10 Things You Should Know About "10 Things" Lists
OK, so that last one was mine.
But am I to believe that men only say 10 things? That there are only 10 things I don't know about me? That restaurants won't tell us only 10 things? I know, there's more, as in more lists. So the "10 Things" lists will just keep coming, and coming, and coming.
But let's take a look at these lists to find out what you should know about these lists, so here are "10 Things You Should Know About '10 Things' Lists." David?
10. Your IQ is lower than George Bush's if you believe in lists.
9. If you believe there's a limited list to your problems, you live with George in La La Land.
8. These lists are written by people who've seen other lists and believe in the list just because they've . . . well, seen other lists.
7. Lists were created by people who think that the rearing of children, building of businesses, and the understanding of men can be done through specific, limited, 10 topic lists.
6. Lists are a cop out for those with little to no imagination.
5. Lists will put you in a coma if you read enough of them
4. You are feeling sleepy, veeeeeeeeeeeeery sleepy.
3. This is a list.
2. What have I told you about lists?
1. Stop reading this . . .
Lists, who needs 'em? The next time someone writes a list I'm gonna find 'em and put them under my list-gene eliminator destructo beam. I know this effort will take considerable time, so I ask for your support. If you want to aid me in my effort to rid the world of the "List" problem, here's 10 things you need to know . . . .
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)haha! Awe..but what about David Letterman??He's in there. He's my guest reader for the 10 things list.Interestingly, list-making is not big among traditional Africans. Lists are attractive because they simplify the complex, and every busy person wants that. As in "To-Do List" -- I like that to get the most from my day, sometimes. Oh, seeing a "10 things" or any number of things will often get you a lot of readers. Lists really do work. Hey, Jeff, thanks for your list about lists. ~mogama~
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