Why I Will Never Give During the Christmas Season or Any Season
Posted: Thursday, December 11, 2008
by Jeff Brown
Inner Projection
There are people who would love to give and give all the time. There are people who are pressured to give because it's the giving season and they just feel like they should . . . well, give. But no matter what happens they just can't find it in themselves to give. These are the procrastinator givers. These are the same people who say that they will eventually get a better job, finish their degree, write a book, start a business. But year after year passes and they still haven't done anything.
1. I crave solitude. I am a rock. Sometimes when I talk to people, I really enjoy the conversation and the excitement and joy of connecting, but there's always the chance of misunderstanding or just downright feeling odd talking to people, especially people I don't know. And who wants to be uncomfortable, right?
2. Happiness isn't everything, you know. It's more important to focus on finances and making money, right? Hell, you don't want to be a burden on family and society, do you? Best to focus on fiscal responsibility. After all, happiness should merely be a byproduct of obtaining riches, right?
3. Besides, I've gotten where I am today all by myself anyway, right? Of course I do have a mom and dad but they were a biological necessity more than an emotional need. If I had to cry about something, I'd just go to my bedroom and grab my pre-soaked Teddy (I used him a lot!). He always knew what to say to me . . . nothing.
4. And who needs to give and reap the rewards after a certain age anyway? I'm too old to give. I used to when I was a kid, but I've outgrown giving. I've got more important things to do. Sorry.
5. And if I give, then there's the problem of people wanting to stop by at the oddest times to thank me or give me a gift, or something pointless like that. What if I'm home on a Saturday and someone comes over in the middle of my "Home Alone" movie marathon. There's more than just the originals, you know. There's a lot of spin offs that I have to examine to see how close they stick to the originals and stuff like that. I can't be bothered having people stop by and gabbing for so long I've forgotten where I was in my movie analysis, right?
6. Then I'd also probably start getting all kinds of respect from people for being so giving. You know what comes along with respect? Popularity. Yeah, more and more people would want to hang out with me, and you know what that means, right? Yeah, getting dates that could end up going further to . . . shall I say it? Commitment. Yeesh!
7. I just don't have all that giving spirit, anyway. After all, those who really give are few and far between. You know, like the Mother Teresa's of the world and such. And if those great givers are so high on the giving scale, who wants to compete with that? Who can?
8. Giver wannabes are actually pretty common, you know. I have nightmares about it not dreams, actually. Anyway, if I started dreaming about being a giver, then you know what happens, right? Yeah, dreams don't come true, so forget it. What was I thinking, right?
9. And who wants to be giving or, worse, working at it? Hey, I've only got so much time on this planet, I've got to spend the little time I have thinking about number one, don't I? After all, this IS America, right?
10. Don't get me wrong. I was once a giver, so it's not like I don't know what it's all about. But the work involved, always having to think about other people. I'd be opening the door for myself and all of a sudden another person's coming through. Crap! What now? Now I have to get out of the flow of my "going" and think about holding the door open for this person. What's up with that? Wouldn't it just be better if we all took care of ourselves? Lot less disruption in the flow, right?
11. Besides, it all takes effort, this giving. And as I'm driving to and from work, working, dealing with challenges, getting home, making supper, paying bills, all that life stuff, who has additional time for giving? Got me? Great.
12. Then what if I got famous for giving. What if Oprah finds out about all my giving. Who wants to be famous? Geesh. Do you see what Angelina and Brad have to put up with all the time. Forget it!
13. I have a difficult enough time giving to myself, never mind anyone else. Sometimes I'll pick up a thumb tack on the floor before I step on it, but when I bend over my back goes into spasms. Who needs that? Now I just put up with the pain. Pain's a lot easier to deal with than thinking about others, even myself, right?
14. I got enough friends anyway. If I want more friends, all I have to do is put on a different wig or hat or beard when I look in the mirror. I have great conversations with these people. Don't have to worry about me none. I'm OK. I'm alright.
15. And besides, being kind and nice ain't so popular. What's so popular about being nice? I watch the movies and TV. I see all that bad stuff coming out of Hollywood. I know what the people want.
16. Hey, I have nothing new to add to being nice and giving. It's all been done before, what's the point?
17. And if I want to change, I'd have to commit. I have a hard enough time committing just to getting up in the morning, never mind doing anything else.
18. I don't have to prove anything. I like myself. Why should I start giving? What, just to make other people happy? I know I could give if I really wanted to. No reason to do it just to prove to people I can. I know I'm a winner!
19. Hey, besides, I respect the other guy's rights anyway. Who am I to hold open a door, let someone in, pick up a dropped item? Who says these people are looking for help? More than anything else, I'm infringing on their 1st Amendment rights more than anything else.
20. But honestly? I'm too lazy. I'd have to change and who needs that? I'd have to sweat or something. Forget that!
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)hi jeff,very interesting, can't tell when and if you're kidding, or being brutally honest, with wit.thanks for an amusing article,best regards,sueSue,A little of both. It's more about what the reader takes from the writing than my intent. Thanks for stopping by.
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