Critical Strategies for the College Instructor : What You'll Never Learn at Any Workshop or Seminar

Let me toot my horn a bit to encourage you to read further. I have taught for over nine years, seven at the college / university level. Roughly twenty percent of my students return to take additional classes. I am contacted frequently by former students who have built a rapport with me as they forward emails, send requests to join social sites and write referral letters, as well as just keep me up to date with what's going on in their lives, a byproduct, as you'll see, of an essential acquired skill.

Just like return customers, return students indicate consumer satisfaction.

Enough about me, let's get into the essential attitudes and skills of the successful instructor, as well as some tips and techniques to help get you there.

First and Foremost, Especially if You're Just Starting Out, Get a Mentor.

In recalling my first day as an instructor (and no, it wasn't at a college or university), I reported to the main office, received the key, and was told where the classroom was located. That was all the orientation I got.

When I arrived, several of the twenty or so eight-year-olds whispered in wonder,

"It's a man?"

"Yeah, and he's tall!" another said just as softly.

"He's big too!" squeaked another little person, barely containing a full shout.

The last caring not for caution bellowed eyes wide, "He's BIG ANNNND TALL!!!"

Being 6"4', 240 lbs, I must have looked like a walking building to these kids, especially considering most elementary teachers are women. The contrast set them off into small circles of bemused murmuring.

From that moment on, I was lost, and the kids knew it too. They told me of classes and appointments they had to go that didn't exist; of things to do after their work was done that resulted in messes and noise no experienced teacher would have ever allowed; of postponed assignments they didn't have to do that day, "Really!!"; and on and on.

What did I learn from this? That when I graduated with my advanced degree and began working at a college or university, I better get some mentoring before I get started, as well as during the first few semesters--at least.

But beware, regardless of the amount of mentoring you get, before you start teaching and during the initial stage, you will ONLY learn the majority by the seat of your pants. But getting a mentor to begin with will smooth out your takeoff a bit.

So what are the snares and snags to be aware of, especially for beginning instructors?

All the Stuff You Could Have Never Imagined You'd Encounter as a Dignified, Professional College Instructor.

Let me begin by saying that you will fail, fall on your face, get embarrassed, stumble, stammer and stutter through your first few semesters, at least-especially if you forget what I tell you in this article or you ignore the majority of this advice. But all that falling and failing during your education at the School of Hard Knocks will only make you a much sought after and in demand college professor.If you survive and learn from your mistakes, that is.

But just to let you know what you're in for, please read on.

I have been called "stupid" to my face; received the following review on rate-my-professor dot com: "There's boring, comatose, and then there's Professor Brown"; and I've been labeled "lazy," "weird," "spacey," and "a complete waste of time."

So what does this tell you? If you are easily disturbed by what people say, get out of teaching and get a night job as a solo security guard somewhere. And remember to move quickly from job to job so no one gets to know you. Either you will develop a thick skin or give in and try something else. But if you stick it out and work at your craft, all of that will go away as you gain control over your knowledge, teaching, and classroom / student skills.

But bottom line, you will need to get to know your subject matter inside and out--so well that you can do it in a coma--practice your teaching craft with your nose to outcomes frequently and often (get to workshops, classes, seminars, and coaching as much as possible), and learn how to manage the classroom. Speaking of that . . .

How to Manage the Classroom

This one's a biggie. And it has little to nothing to do with going to seminars or workshops on How to Handle the Difficult Student; Seeking the Problem Student: How to Identify Signs; or How to Properly Smack a Student Without Getting a Pink Slip (OK, that one's a joke).

So what's the secret?

Sense of humor.

That's it. Let's move on . . .

OK, there's more to it. What you need to do is certainly develop a sense of humor, even if it's of the mercy-laugh variety. (You know what I mean, right? Those jokes you laughed at time and again ONLY because your father paid the bills?) But you also need to create a comfortable atmosphere.

Some teachers think that comes from learning all the names and developing international pronunciation skills, so that you know how to pronounce names from around the world. I went to that workshop, and I tried the first-day-of-class get-to-know-your-student's names game. All of that. Know what? For me, it never worked. I don't even try to get to know my students names, can't remember them, don't know them, never will. But that's my problem, not yours. If you are good with names, good, or you want to learn how to recall and pronounce on a dime, that's your call. Regardless, I still have a great rapport with my students and still do which has transferred to successful seminars and workshops that I run for my business.

As a matter of fact, my students have been so comfortable that they've said things like, "You have a vagina." Yes, believe it or not. One day I was discussing music with a student; I told him that I think George Michael is talented and that my wife and I have a couple of his CDs. So he said to me . . . Well, you know.

In addition, a student revealed to me that he was living on the street because his father's new "pot-head girlfriend" chased him away while his father was out of town on a business trip. I've learned firsthand of students running with their mothers in the dark of night as they escaped a communist regime on their road to freedom: America. I've been told that on her way to school in the Middle East a student saw a friend dead on the side of the road with her fingers cut off because she had decided to wear finger polish that day; she hadn't done a good enough job covering her hands.

Bottom line, if you are real and you don't talk down, up, or across to your students, you will build a rapport that will create a comfortable situation that will not only allow you to teach well (for the majority of teaching comes from creating a connection: no one cares about you until you show you care about them), but help you to keep control of your classroom as well as enable students to feel free enough to come up to you about most concerns. Of course, not all students will come to you on all occasions, but you increase your chances of achieving the greatest student / teacher rapport by showing your humanity and by "keeping it real," as the kids like to say. Speaking of "real."

How to Keep it Unreal

Want to be a good teacher? Get across to your students? Engage them?

Get creative. Get diverse. Get the passion.

Want to get across to these visual-age-short-attention-span-theater students? Get creative.

Want to talk about the Argument and how anything can be an argument? Bring in a bag full of stuff: a baseball hat, deck of cards, magazine, picture of Kobe Bryant, a stick, three rocks, a bag of salt, throw each one at a student, have them stand and explain how what they are holding could turn into argument.

Want to teach poetry? Get a video of Peter Gabriel and show them poetry and ask them to explain the passion, the rising and dropping of the melody attached to the following words and what it does to your heart, and if you can keep tear ducts on standby as you examine the depth of your soul:

Looking down on empty streets, all she can see
Are the dreams all made solid
Are the dreams all made real

All of the buildings, all of those cars
Were once just a dream
In somebody's head

She pictures the broken glass, she pictures the steam
She pictures a soul
With no leak at the seam

Lets take the boat out
Wait until darkness
Lets take the boat out
Wait until darkness comes

Get creative sisters and brothers! To teach is to touch, to have and to hold that young mind and spirit in hand, that which is so raw and malleable, that which is looking to your experience and passion for motivation and inspiration. Teach them how to live!!!

Why I'm Not Talking About All That Standard Pedagogy Stuff

Now, I could ramble on about student outcomes; syllabus language, organization, and format; communicating expectations; process of learning and master of content; being friendly but not a friend; diversity of learning or knowledge acquisition skills; proper integration of technology; student and peer feedback; but that's been soooooooooo covered that there's little to no reason to cover it again.

Besides, it's all technical stuff. If you can't learn to do what I've talked about in this article, then getting all the technical stuff down without an understanding of the power of the heart is like the sentient android Data, of Star Trek the Next Generation fame, learning jokes without ever being able to make people laugh.

You need to make your students laugh, imagine, wonder, wake up, even, and then you can apply all the standard, mundane, boring technical stuff. Hey, if it was all merely about the technical then every teacher would be teacher of the year and all our kids would be geniuses. However, there are few that truly know how to teach and fewer still that can connect and inspire students for years to come, if not a lifetime.

So put down your pedagogy and, hell, maybe do some standup comedy. Read some books on how to paint faces. Learn some magic tricks or how to juggle tennis rackets, a toilet plunger, and a bowling ball. Sit on a firecracker. Jump up and down on your kid's trampoline at least once a week. Maybe even look up the phrases "Bezzeled Out," Bringin' Back Nubs," and "Flip the Script." But if you want to be just an average teacher, forget all I've said here. Oh, and keep it on the QT, the down low, for ya don't wanna have dem peeps getting' played on ya. Yo!