America's Newest Citizen, My Wife: $10, 000, Fear and Trepidation, and Extreme Relief

Before yesterday arrived, my wife's biggest day next to our wedding day, there were things to take care of.

First I had to cancel an important webinar in which my business coach was to go over my EPS questions in detail while others listened in and commented, a big and important step in getting my information marketing website up and going. Next, we had to get our 14-year-old to stay home with little Mikie who's only 3 1/2. Interesting how Karen was so eager to run across the street to her school within minutes of our getting home later that morning on my wife's special day. (Even 14-year-olds with all their energy can get run down by a three-year-old.) Then a few more arrangements and things to take care of and we were off.

 

The little feller about a year ago or so

Before we get to the big day, it's important for many Americans who've never been through the process to know what it truly takes to become a citizen.  And I'm not just talking about the swearing in ceremony or the extensive paperwork involved, but the bureaucratic red tape, prejudice, manipulation and abuse at the hands of public officials, and just general, all around fear and anxiety of not being a legal citizen.

My wife came here from Colombia some ten years ago. At the time she arrived married and with a five-year work visa. However, in a few short years she was divorced and illegal, due to no fault of her own.

After her divorce, she began to work for a couple who decided to sponsor her. She was working ten-hour days, five to six days a week, having to be there at the whim of her employers for fear of losing her sponsorship. They had her at their beck and call.

Shortly after the couple accepted to sponsor her, she went to an attorney and paid him $5,000 to do her paperwork. However, after three years and a now expired work visa--the couple changed their mind and canceled their agreement--she was out the $5000, unemployed, and illegal.

This was not a person who lacked skills or work ethic. In Colombia she worked in cosmetic sales, working from eight in the morning until eight at night Monday through Saturday while raising two children, two children who have now been in America with us for a year and a half. She is a hard-working mother of two who soon was looking over her shoulder at anyone who may be an "authority," afraid and looking for hope.

Time and again, I have heard through firsthand and secondhand accounts of doctors, lawyers, business owners, successful sales reps., and so on--important, hard working, intelligent people--having to come to America because of dire economic or political straits that they had to run from to survive, starting over at menial positions way below their abilities and intelligence because their credentials were no longer valid in this new country.

Later, my wife did get work. She next worked as a nanny for two attorneys, who worked for the state of California, for a mere $6 / hr. Not only did they know she was illegal, these two civil-rights attorneys, but her pay was half if not less of what citizens of the U.S. were making.

She was alone, without her children, now illegally residing in the United States. But fortunately for her, she met a gringo who fell in love with her. While working for the attorneys, I remember her telling me stories of feeling trapped, alone, empty, and imprisoned in the gated community she worked in. She loved the boy she nannied, but she was fully empty and unfulfilled.

Eventually we did marry, and after receiving her green card, she began work as an apartment manager for a large firm. She was swamped with work and it wasn't her life's calling, but at least she was happy working with venders, maintenance staff, and renters, a life certainly more engaging than that of a sequestered nanny.

Next came the paperwork to get her citizenship and her children to America. We went to the attorney who she had paid the $5000 to the first time, and he was so kind to offer us a discount since he had worked for her before: $4000. I told him, we'd get back to him.

Not!!!

I did the paperwork myself. It is detailed but not impossible to do without a law degree. But what is interesting is that the lawyers don't even do the paperwork themselves; they give it to their secretary. On the rare occassion the need for any legal council arises, he steps in and deals with it, basically telling the secretary what to do while he goes off and plays golf. What immigration attorneys get away with is close to murder. (I know of the facts through an attorney friend who dabbled in immigraiton law.) Personally, I was about to murder my wife's attorney for desiring to make $9000 off her for possibly just a few minutes of work.

But dealing with the INS is . . . well, murder itself. At times we felt like we were slowly being killed, or at least being encouraged to take our own lives, by their painfully slow and plodding incompetence.

At one point, we wanted to know the status of our kid's cases. We attempted to do this online but were told we'd have to go to the main office downtown. We did so. After driving two hours in Los Angeles traffic--which is like dealing with hemorrhoids, shingles, and a migraine all at the same time--we got to the INS office and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited.

The worst part was that when our number finally came up everyone went to lunch. Yes, everyone. All the service windows closed. Hey, this isn't Blockbuster. This is a government run institution. Imagine the DMV being ten times worse. Now you've got it.

So we finally get to the window. After filling out a form, we're expecting the guy to punch a few keys and give us the information. You know, information from that computer that is directly connected to the INS data base? But no, we were told the information would be mailed to us. Mailed to us? If all we had to do was fill out a form, why couldn't we have done it online? Or have it mailed to us and then fill it out? No, this had to be done at the main office, downtown, some light-years and hours of unrecoverable, lost patience ago.

We finally did get the status of the kid's cases, about four months after their arrival.

As an aside, an important point to consider for those Americans clamoring to get rid of illegals . . . Good luck! These are people who are in economical and political dire straits. Because of no work (and I mean "no work" as in no chance of getting work whatsoever, not as in 7.5% unemployment), they can't wait months, never mind years, or in the case of some of the people I know, a decade or more to get here legally. Won't ever happen until the INS speeds up the process a few light years or so.

Bottom line, some eight years later, after much fear, money paid and lost (we figured close to $10,000 for all the attorney's- and paperwork-filing fees), anxiety, aggravation (paperwork filled out incorrectly or correctly, going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting . . . ) and just downright general, pain-in-the-patoot aggravation, my wife's day arrived.

She is beside herself with joy, relief, satisfaction, contentment . . . all the good stuff. I've never seen her so satisfied, our newest American citizen.


The newest Mrs. USA and one or her reasons for being

I remember her telling me some months ago after going to Colombia to bring her kids to the U.S. that she no longer was Colombian but an American. Yes, my little wife, Latina Heat (don't get her mad!) now a proud to be, dye-in-the-wool, down home, honest to God, American.

Here's to you, honey.

God bless and I love you.

 

The Beauty and The Beast

» left by Dianne Lehmann

3 years 78 days ago.
137 fans.

Hi Jeff.

 

I've looked at those forms. Even attempted to fill them out. It can be done, but just barely. My hubby was born in Germany and his parents became naturalized after he had turned 14. So even though he has lived here since he was eight years old (he is soon to be 56), he is still not a citizen. I would really like for him to be, but he is just not all that motivated. I will never let him see this article. :) I still have hope of one day convincing him.

 

Oh, we used to live in SoCal and know what traveling through LA can do to a person. I might add hives to your list, just so you know. I've actually had shingles (my God I didn't know anything could hurt so much) and you are right on with that.

 

Congrats to you and your beautiful wife. Hopefully, everything will be smooth sailing from here.

 

Dianne

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» left by Jeff Brown 3 years 77 days ago.
145 fans. Follow Jeff Brown on twitter!

Dianne,

 

Yes, I just got over shingles. That's why it's included. I'd rather have a bowling ball

dropped on my head. Really!

 

My grandparents (God rest their souls) on my mother's side never obtained citizenship and owned a very big and successful farm with lots of land. We

personally know a millionaire from Latin America who is still illegal. Imagine that.

 

Thanks for the congrats and for stopping by.

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» left by Teresa Ortiz

3 years 77 days ago.
188 fans.

Hi Jeff, COngrats to your Latina beauty!! I feel your pain. My step-mom had many of these same issues. I remember my dad struggling with frustration as well. I think we talked about this once quite a while ago. I am very happy for you both. And proud that you did not give up. I can see why many would. Blessings to you! you have a beautiful family. Teresa

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» left by Jeff Brown 3 years 77 days ago.
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Dear Comment Queen,

 

Thanks for stopping by. Yes, it is a super annoying process, and so many wonder why there are so many illegals. Hey, why don't they make it easire than a rat pasing a bowling ball, maybe. Hey, I'm just saying, Dah! lots of illegals? Wonder why?

 

Thanks for the congrats and the drop by.

 

 

 

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» left by Linda DeWitt

from Oregon 3 years 77 days ago.
67 fans. Follow Linda DeWitt on twitter!

I really enjoyed yur article. I have two very close friends who are going throught the same thing. Congratulaions. Linda D

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» left by Jeff Brown 3 years 77 days ago.
145 fans. Follow Jeff Brown on twitter!

Linda,

 

I feel for them. It's not a short or easy process. Thanks for commenting.

 

 

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» left by Avis Ward

3 years 77 days ago.
132 fans.

Jeff, very happy this is the ending you and your lovely wife received. My closest friend here was not so fortunate. He and his wife have been separated for four years now. She had to go back to Costa Rica or jail. They were married three years when this happened. They exhausted all their resources and that of family and friends fighting this but in the end, she had to leave.

Yours is a beautiful story, no matter how agonizing, of the power of Love. Congratulations to both of you and especially to her!

Blessings and Peace . . .

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» left by Jeff Brown 3 years 75 days ago.
145 fans. Follow Jeff Brown on twitter!

Avis,

 

Yes, if more people spoke of the reality of becoming legal, more would
understand that it's not just about "doing the right thing" and come here legally.

Some, as you've stated, even try to do it the right way and end up at a loss.

The whole system needs to be revamped and privatized for competition to

kick the process into a much higher gear to greater proficiency. Thanks for

your kind comments.

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» left by Sandra E. Graham

from Paragould, Ar USA 3 years 77 days ago.

This was wonderful, Jeff. I felt your pain. My son married a girl from Panama several years ago. They finally got all her paperwork done after going through many of your same issues. Their oldest girl started college last year and the youngest is 16. My son has a beautiful family and has been living in Texas since he left the Air Force. Immigration can truly be a nightmare and Lawyers are crooks no matter what you pay them for.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

Sandra

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» left by Jeff Brown 3 years 75 days ago.
145 fans. Follow Jeff Brown on twitter!

Sandra,

 

Yes, there certainly is something about law that causes people to change.

The whole mindset is too much of the head, word of the law, and not enough of the

heart, spirit of the law. I've seen a close friend turn for the worse in this regard

after becoming a lawyer. It reminds me of my friend who came back from boot

camp a changed man, and certainly not for the better. It is sad how easily swayed

we are by the "world" and its ways. May God be with all of us more to make us

strong and to avoid the narrow and self-serving natural nature of the fallen man

and his self-indulgent and way too often mistaken ways of thinking and being.

Peace to you and yours.

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» left by Mogama

3 years 75 days ago.
117 fans. Follow Mogama on twitter!

Having been through this same tedious process, both my wife and I -- it's even slower and more difficult for Africans -- I know exactly what your wife has been through with the lawyers and bureaucrats. But all the losses and frustrations somehow pale in comparison to the emotion one feels when sworn in as a United States citizen. Congrats! And thanks for sharing your personal story here. ~mogama~

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» left by Jeff Brown 3 years 74 days ago.
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Mogama,

Yes, my wife was certainly happy. I had never seen her so proud. It's too bad I couldn't be with her, but there were already over 7,000 people being sworn in at the LA Convention Center. They swear people in twice a year with some 15,000 to 20,000 being sworn in (half in the morning, half in the afternoon).

Yes, certainly a struggle, but something I wanted to let those who've never been there an opportunity to see its challenges.

Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting.

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» left by Dr Clarence Rucker, Jr

from MI 2 years 333 days ago.

"Yes, I just got over shingles." Believe it or not Jeff, This grabbed my attention and I stopped. It has been 6 months since those awful Shingles said: "I choose you." Yes, I still feel the twinges. ...smile... Thanks for the article.

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» left by Jeff Brown 2 years 333 days ago.
145 fans. Follow Jeff Brown on twitter!

Oh, yeah. I'm still having repercussions over six months later. My wife, who's from Colombia, says that Americans have too many vaccines, like those that cause shingles. She's even against Mikie, our four-year-old, getting too many  of them. Thanks for reading. 

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