What Your Child's Teacher Won't Tell You
Posted: Thursday, October 08, 2009
by Jeff Brown
Inner Projection
Concerned about your child's education? Why not get some solutions from the horse's mouth?
Teachers . . .
If you listen without judgment and with your child's best interest in mind, they can tell you a lot. And remember, they are not the enemy. What? You think they went into teaching for the power, fame, glory, and prestige of it all? No. They do it because they love teaching and they love your children. Help them by listening to what they have to say below. This is a compilation of thought from experienced teachers from several states.
But if we really want to improve education, we may turn to another source . . .
Students.
What's wrong with the system? Since they are on the receiving end, you'd be amazed what they can tell you. Maybe adults too far removed from the process in experience and in mind (PhDs over-thinking with impractical theory) don't really get it.
Why we've stopped listening and supporting teachers and never really gone to the source in asking students what's wrong may just be two of the most important steps we can take in improving education.
So take a listen at this juncture to at least hear what one half of the solution has to say, won't you?
What Your Child's Teacher Won't Tell You
1. My first year of teaching, a fifth-grader actually threw a chair at me. I saw him recently, and he told me he just graduated from college. That's what makes it all worthwhile.
2. I have parents who are CEOs of their own companies come in and tell me how to run my classroom. I would never think to go to their office and tell them how to do their jobs.
3. We don't arrive at school 10 minutes before your child does. And we don't leave the minute they get back on the bus. Many of us put in extra hours before and after school.
4. We are not the enemy. Parents and teachers really are on the same side.
5. The truth is simple: Your kid will lie to get out of trouble.
6. Encourage your child to keep reading. That's key to success in the classroom at any age.
7. We can tell the difference between a parent helping their child with homework and doing it for them (especially when they're clueless in class the next day).
8. Teaching is a calling. There's not a teacher alive who will say she went into this for the money.
9. Just because your child says he did his homework doesn't mean it's true. You must check. Every night.
10. Teaching is not as joyful as it once was for many of us; we get jaded too. Disrespectful students and belligerent parents take a toll on us.
11. Parents give their kids the pricey gadgets and labels, but what kids really crave is for you to talk to them. They want to know you are interested in their lives.
12. We spend money out of our own pockets to buy things our students need, such as school supplies and even shoes.
13. Supportive, involved parents are crucial. But some are "helicopter parents"--they hover too much.
14. Having the summer off is great, but many of us have to take on extra jobs--teaching summer school, tutoring--to make ends meet.
15. Success is not achieved by just making kids memorize flash cards and prepping them for an Ivy League school. Sensible parents know there is a college for every kid, and that responsibility and good citizenship are what really drive success.
16. Nobody says "the dog ate my homework" anymore, but we hear a lot of "I left it on the kitchen table." And then Mom will send in a note to back up the story.
17. We wish parents would make their kids own up to their actions instead of pressuring us to bend the rules.
18. Please stop doing everything for your child and allow them to make mistakes. How else will they learn? Kids are not motivated to succeed because they feel their parents will bail them out every time.
19. There are days when I just want to quit, but then that one smile from that one kid, changes it all.
Sources: American Federation of Teachers; interviews with elementary and middle school teachers in California, Connecticut, Georgia, Iowa, Minnesota, New York, and Texas. Adapted from interviews with teachers by Neena Samuel
Teachers . . .
If you listen without judgment and with your child's best interest in mind, they can tell you a lot. And remember, they are not the enemy. What? You think they went into teaching for the power, fame, glory, and prestige of it all? No. They do it because they love teaching and they love your children. Help them by listening to what they have to say below. This is a compilation of thought from experienced teachers from several states.
Students.
What's wrong with the system? Since they are on the receiving end, you'd be amazed what they can tell you. Maybe adults too far removed from the process in experience and in mind (PhDs over-thinking with impractical theory) don't really get it.
Why we've stopped listening and supporting teachers and never really gone to the source in asking students what's wrong may just be two of the most important steps we can take in improving education.
So take a listen at this juncture to at least hear what one half of the solution has to say, won't you?
What Your Child's Teacher Won't Tell You
1. My first year of teaching, a fifth-grader actually threw a chair at me. I saw him recently, and he told me he just graduated from college. That's what makes it all worthwhile.
2. I have parents who are CEOs of their own companies come in and tell me how to run my classroom. I would never think to go to their office and tell them how to do their jobs.
3. We don't arrive at school 10 minutes before your child does. And we don't leave the minute they get back on the bus. Many of us put in extra hours before and after school.
4. We are not the enemy. Parents and teachers really are on the same side.
5. The truth is simple: Your kid will lie to get out of trouble.
6. Encourage your child to keep reading. That's key to success in the classroom at any age.
7. We can tell the difference between a parent helping their child with homework and doing it for them (especially when they're clueless in class the next day).
8. Teaching is a calling. There's not a teacher alive who will say she went into this for the money.
9. Just because your child says he did his homework doesn't mean it's true. You must check. Every night.
10. Teaching is not as joyful as it once was for many of us; we get jaded too. Disrespectful students and belligerent parents take a toll on us.
11. Parents give their kids the pricey gadgets and labels, but what kids really crave is for you to talk to them. They want to know you are interested in their lives.
12. We spend money out of our own pockets to buy things our students need, such as school supplies and even shoes.
13. Supportive, involved parents are crucial. But some are "helicopter parents"--they hover too much.
14. Having the summer off is great, but many of us have to take on extra jobs--teaching summer school, tutoring--to make ends meet.
15. Success is not achieved by just making kids memorize flash cards and prepping them for an Ivy League school. Sensible parents know there is a college for every kid, and that responsibility and good citizenship are what really drive success.
16. Nobody says "the dog ate my homework" anymore, but we hear a lot of "I left it on the kitchen table." And then Mom will send in a note to back up the story.
17. We wish parents would make their kids own up to their actions instead of pressuring us to bend the rules.
18. Please stop doing everything for your child and allow them to make mistakes. How else will they learn? Kids are not motivated to succeed because they feel their parents will bail them out every time.
19. There are days when I just want to quit, but then that one smile from that one kid, changes it all.
Sources: American Federation of Teachers; interviews with elementary and middle school teachers in California, Connecticut, Georgia, Iowa, Minnesota, New York, and Texas. Adapted from interviews with teachers by Neena Samuel
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More commentsEvery word is true, true, true! I have 35 years experience in schools in Canada and the problems are the same. I 'd like to add one more point. I wish parents could learn to accept the fact that every child can't be an Einstein. The world needs good plumbers, mechanics and electricians too. When a child does him best and earns a C, he deserves praise too.Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Parents, administrators, and politicians think every child should be a mathematician, scientist, or engineer. Yes, it's nice to want the country to be ahead of other countries in technology, etc., but there's only a small number of jobs out there for those who major in these disciplines. What politicians and others don't tell the public is that the majority of jobs are in lesser rolls like the service sector. It's time to wake up and smell the reality coffee. Thanks for such a right-on comment.We also need the arts, literature and the humanities.-G
Very nice article Jeff. In court, the first thing I hear come from the parent's mouth is, "they do not like my child." "I am going to transfer my child." The first thing when I facilitate their court ordered counseling is to remind the parents, these are your children. The best encouragement you can give a teacher is a compliment. Write a note to them asking, how can you help them with your child? Can I come to sit in your class one day? You would be shocked that the teacher no longer see a child without a face, they see a parent with a face. It helps to work with the teachers. Thanks Jeff.Yes, parents used to work with teachers. Now they mostly work against. Thanks for the comment, Clarence.
Fantastic article Jeff! That from the wife of a high school teacher. All of your points are right on, but if parents could come to understand #11 it would help in all areas. COMMUNICATE with your child! I'm going to print your article off for my husband, just so he knows someone out there does understand!True, the biggest aspect of a successful student is his / her self-confidence / image. Parents can help the greatest here. I'm here to take these points national, along with private schools that provide the 80% missing that of the practicle that has little to do with the three Rs. Thanks.
Great article, and so true! I'm a private tutor. I can't tell you how many times a parent will ask how their child is doing and, when I say that they're not doing their work, the parent will make an excuse for the child. How can we expect the kids to take responsibility for their own actions when the parents are so quick to try to get them off the hook?So true. Just another of the many in the field who confirms what many teachers are saying. I just wondering when people will start listening. Thanks for reading.
Your article echoes what I have been saying for years. Very unpopular stuff, but so true.Yes, unpopular, difficult, truth, all tough to deal with but the alternative is continued failure. Thanks for commenting.
Wow. So, so, so true. I worked in an inner city school a few years ago. I was amazed at the animosity towards the teachers. (I've seen it in rural schools too, but it was overwhelming at this place). Thank you so much for sharing this.Yes, teachers being givers are the main receivers of what turns out to be a result of lack--love in the home, understanding, frustration, ignorance . . . the list goes on. Thanks for writing.
Teachers are heroes, pure and simple. If only the parents would live up to the child's potential, then our education system would be on to something.Great article, Jeff!Mike, how true. Thanks for reading.
Jeff, I volunteer in a middle school's reading class on Friday afternoons. The behavior teachers face from students who really could care less about being there is appalling and heartbreaking.This is a great article to share. Thanks!Yes, student attitude / behavior is something that is rarely addressed in education reform. Yet when I taught 2 years as a substitute while working on my masters, it only confirmed my desire to teach college. I really don't know how secondary teachers do it. And while in my graduate seminar, I met teacher after teacher who was quitting high school to teach college. There's some major commentary right there. Thanks for reading / commenting.
I taught elementary and high school in Liberia before migrating to the USA, but I have resisted becoming certified to teach in Kentucky. Where I come from, students crave education. With the consent of their parents, some children become house boys and house girls for people who will send them to school. Some youngsters walk long distances and sit on hard benches, some even sit in dirt, to learn. It seems like the comfort of America along with the nothing for something and the bail-out mindset has destroyed much of the incentive for students to be eager for real education. And the gross disconnect between classroom instruction and the requirements of the workplace don't help either. Thanks for the article, my friend. ~mogama~I love to hear stories like this. I know of the many 100s of students who come here from other countries who are hungry to learn and very respectful of their teachers--Latin America, Africa, Middle East, Asia, etc. What you say is so true. I've been sworn at and disrespected right in class by the American students, spoiled to the core. Sad but true, and a rude awakening for them when they get into the workforce too. So grateful for your perspective. Your friend, Jeff
Hi Jeff. I absolutely agree with your article. The same situation occurs in Australia. We also have another problem that exacerbates the issues you mentioned. In Australia, you can complete an undergraduate degree in (almost) any subject and then complete a one year Graduate Diploma in Education in order to become qualified to teach at high school or primary school. This has become an invitation for some recently graduated students who don't have other career options to become teachers. Because teachers are undervalued and the pay is not great, many experienced and dedicated educators go on to do other things in the private sector. This means that an increasing number of underqualified and not overly dedicated people are entering the teaching profession.Another sad commentary on the lack of importance education receives. Thanks for the commentary.
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