What is Coaching? It's Not Counseling, Therapy, or Consulting But Rather a Co-active Type of Aid

OK, if you go to a coach, you are not going to receive medication, psychotherapy, or transcranial magnetic stimulation (thank heavens!). Also, coaching does not examine or analyze the past. And if you have a mental illness, severe learning disability, or personality disorder, you'd go to a psychiatrist not a coach. All the above is psychiatry which coaching is not.

And coaching is not necessarily counseling or consulting, an expert who gives advice and provides direction. It's not simply the coach telling her client what to do: "You've got a problem? I'll fix it. Here's what you do." No, that's counseling or consulting which coaching is not.

So what exactly is this coaching? Before we get into it let's take a look at the various categories.

Life Coach : One who helps people determine and achieve life goals.

Business Coach : One who helps individuals or groups be more effective in the business arena--leadership, accountability, sales, teamwork, goal setting, communication, strategic planning and so on.

Personal Coach : Here the coach helps with the client's stated interests, goals, and objectives.

Health Coach : Here the coach is more than one who trains clients to better health. The mental state is also taken into consideration. For example, professional teams have coaches who help the athletes with their mental state.

Dating Coach : One who helps people attract and obtain a more long-term partner who is compatible. Topics of focus may be flirting, interpersonal skills, compatibility, fashion, and so on.

Conflict Coach : Usually this type of coaching focuses on marital issues and other relationship matters. Here the focus is on, of course, improving conflict management skills.

There are other types of coaches, but these are some of the most common. But back to my original question, what is a coach and how do they differ from a counselor, therapist or consultant?

Coaches are not instructors. They do not merely dispense information. Nor are they mentors or those who shape the outlook or attitude of an individual. So what do they do?

Coaches first and foremost determine what it is that the client desires. The initial meetings are brainstorming sessions in which the client determines where he wants help. This is done generally by determining where deficiencies lie. The client is asked to rate satisfaction from one to ten in several areas of life: career, money, health, friends and family, romance, personal growth, fun and recreation, and so on. From here the coach can see where deficiency lies. However, he does not give advice as an expert telling or suggesting what to do and how much. Instead, the client is in control.

To help the client see more clearly where help is needed, the coach will ask non-leading, open-ended questions. For example, the coach will take the various areas of life mentioned above and ask the client to "Identify two areas which you want to affect immediately." "What actions will you take?" "When will you take these actions?" "What support do you desire in order to ensure these actions occur?" And so on. The client is in control.

Next the client is asked about goals or rather promises, for goals don't hold as much sway over the individual as a promise, especially a promise to someone else. What has greater force? "I have a goal of losing 30 pounds in three months" or "I promised my wife I'd lose 30 pounds so that I'll be around longer to love and support her in all she does." The amount, time, effort, whatever can be quantified is stated by the client and then a schedule is created.

Next, comes accountability. To make sure that effort is consistent and continuous the client is held to his timetable. Once again, the coach does not dictate but rather guides the client toward achievement or accomplishment. If the client is not keeping up his end of the bargain, for example he works out only once in a given week, then the coach inquires, "How has this affected your outlook on achieving your goal?" "What can you do to ensure you won't miss any more days? Can you?" and so on.

There are several key areas that are looked at in regards to achievement: future self, life purpose, values clarification. And in each category the coach asks the client what he wants. The coach's job is to help the client with clarity, accountability, moving forward, challenge during times of stagnation, re-framing of clients goals, and so on.

Bottom line, the coach is very co-active and is not there to counsel, consult, or provide therapy but rather to pull forth from the client that which she needs, desires, and aspires to in the hear and now and into the future. Coaching requires great listening, listening beyond what the client is saying to the core of what he or she desires and then helping the client to get there without judgment or suggestions based on any personal agenda. The best of coaches are guides who walk side by side with their client in a journey toward personal betterment and fulfillment. It is the client's world.