Teen Life Skills 101: A Critical Course Your Child is Missing

For most teens, they go to school and take the mandatory classes; they acquire certain knowledge: math, science, English, language, etc. And that's nice, a nice start. However, there's a huge something missing from the equation, actually about three-quarters or 75 percent. And it's more than one thing, and it's more than just life skills for teens. Included in this package should be attitude and, of course as we've alluded to above, knowledge, in addition to the often overlook and too often forgotten skills. And here I'm not just talking about playing lip service to skills taught teenagers that are usually simplified beyond usefulness.

To clarify "attitude," it entails emotional intelligence and how to deal with the challenges and trials of life. "Skill" applies to "hands on" ability, not just knowledge or book smarts. And then there's "knowledge", which actually is the least important, for in order to obtain a job or career that can be picked up, added to, dropped as need be according to economic shifts, and keep in mind that in this age of turbulence, there's going to be more and more economic insecurity, so that myth of going to school for job security is a thing of the past, if it ever was a thing or reality to begin with. (for more on our turbulent times, please read Allan Greenspan's Age of Turbulence.)

But lets get into our big three: skills, attitude, and knowledge. Let's talk about knowledge skills.

Skills are critical. But exactly what knowledge does your average teen need. Believe it or not, there are general skills all teens are in critical need of but few if any are getting in school or at home. A few things that should exist on that list are a work ethic, accountability, patience, perseverance, manors / respect for authority, cooperation, tolerance for difference, sacrifice, charity, humility, and more. More and more employers are complaining that some of the specific life skills youth lack are punctuality, the ability to work well with others, a positive mental attitude, self-discipline, initiative and leadership, imagination, concentration and focus, the ability to profit from failure, tolerance and fair treatment of others, and more.

But even what students are supposed to be learning in high school they are not getting it or getting enough. According to my almost nine years of teaching as an adjunct at various colleges and universities, and concurring statistical evidence, less than 1/3 of all students entering college have sufficient math, reading, and writing skills. Key word here "sufficient." The majority of students I get not only don't know grammar but few know the basic foundation of writing: what is a sentence? Few can grammatically define a sentence, clause (dependent and independent), and phrase. But the problem goes deeper than this.

Education to the greatest degree is wasted or a waste of time. By the time a student has graduate, he has forgotten the majority of what has been learned, if it was ever learned at all. Consider that one forgets 80% of that read in 24 hours, you can see where the problem begins. And even if the student loves what she's learned, it will not remain with her without consistent, repetitive use. So you can see why I emphasize skills and attitude, for they are at the foundation of character. Knowledge can always be added, dumped, modified.

Another point is that if students are not interested in learning something, they will not learn. To begin with, our ability to take information in and retain it is limited, in the extreme. Consider my point above that if you read something within twenty-four hours, if you don't review, you forget eighty-percent. What does this say about our youth's education? And the greater the lack of interest the quicker that knowledge leaves.

So the bottom line is that life skills, attitude, knowledge for youth should be of those things that are, first, of great need, and second, of great interest, for it is only that of interest which has the greatest staying power for our youth or, for that matter, anyone. This focus on interest points to a need which is rarely addressed in school or college: student's innate skills, abilities, talents, and gifts. For it is in the knowing of these things that the student will truly shine, emotionally through self-actualization, socially, and financially. For it is only when we are being used for what we do best, meaning love to do, where we shine and are not only of greatest benefit to ourselves but to our families, community, nation, world. For as we uncover and exploit that which we do best, we turn on an indomitable light of power and spirit that cannot be contained and often needs more and more room to stretch as it grows.

So, to even get more specific here, the critical life skills for teens can basically be broken down into a few areas: character development, personal abilities, career skills, financial IQ, interpersonal skills, and public duty.This is a topic in and of itself. One which I have written on extensively.

Next to knowing oneself and developing one's talents and abilities, character is equally critical, for no amount of talent, ability, gifts, knowledge will make up for the self-sabotaging of poor character. Just look at the headlines of the many super-successful and talented who have fallen because of poor character. If one is not dependable, honest, forthright, reliable, accountable, responsible, on and on, then he or she can forget success and greater achievement.

Career skills are essential in what one will do with his or her life to make ends meet and provide for oneself and, if one desires, family. The specific skill set needed varies from individual to individual, and it's critical that the teenager know himself / herself and works with a coach (not a counselor or consultant) to pull out that which he or she will excel at. This is a complex issue and not something that will be gone into in detail here. Please see my web site for more on this topic.

Having a high financial IQ is a critical life skill for teens or youth that few have, but it is becoming more and more critical as the cost of living rises and savings rate declines. With more countries coming online in the open market there is not only greater and greater competition but greater market instability. And more than ever before it has become critical that teens become aware of this and prepare themselves to find more than one avenue to income, meaning, just having a single job. Because of the Internet and low startup and overhead cost, more and more are moving here to provide a safety net if that one income no longer exists, meaning multiple sources of income are becoming not just a luxury but a necessity, another complex issue that requires more time and space.

Interpersonal skills for teens are not only something that can be used with friends and family, but in the work place and in public. At almost every turn, teens, like all people, must deal with people. Not having well-developed skills in this area will hold them back from success in all avenues of life. Why this is not emphasized in schools more is a mystery to me. It's as if these skills are just supposed to happen.

Finally, public duty is something that is not only just an afterthought in a democratic society; it should be a central or key feature in all our lives. I've even gone so far as to write a book that conveys the Constitution in a simple and, hopefully, entertaining way because it is the law of the land and something all our military, political figures, and police officers pledge allegiance to. And it's something that all American citizens indirectly pledge their lives to. So as equal participants in this country we have an obligation to participate in this self-managed country, and by doing so we will begin to not only feel a sense of pride in our country but in ourselves.

So you can see that when we talk about teen life skills or youth life skills there's a lot more than meets the eye. But most importantly, teens need a professional, experience, impartial guide in getting their lives off on the right track. May you choose well for your teen.

Here's to your teen's success.