You Want an Education, But Where Do You Begin? The Self, of Course
Posted: Saturday, October 29, 2011
by Jeff Brown
Inner Projection
In order to know where to go, how far you’ll go, the nature of where you should go in order to achieve at the highest degree, you must first and foremost know thyself. To thine own self be true, yes?
Therefore, you must not only know your skills, abilities, propensities, desires, and aspirations but those things that can shoot them down and tear them apart quicker than you can say “failure.”
After taking it you find that you are an abstract thinker, one who thinks outside the box in an abstract and creative way. You are one that has a greater propensity to go “A, B, C . . . Hey! Look at the Z! Wow, how about that L, M, N, O . . . Wow! U, V, W.” Your mind is a jumper, one that does not think in a linear, methodical fashion. Yours is not a mind that thinks in myopic terms or is able to focus on minutia, the small stuff, but loves to ponder the abstract and larger picture. Because of all this, you come to the understanding that you would not be able to excel at engineering but rather as a writer, creator, or policy maker, someone who can synthesize ideas in creating a great look at the overall picture.
You are happy that you took the time to see who you are to determine where best you fit in to make your mark and some money in the world. Doing this alone has tripled your chance of happiness and success, but there is more.
What Are Your Strengths?
Where do your strengths lie? By looking at your strengths, you will get a much clearer picture of your interests and what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life, but probably most importantly, doing what you’ll enjoy, get reward from, and excel at. But what specifically does this mean?
For example, say that you enjoy learning with people, meaning that you learn best through interaction with others. You can learn from books and lectures, but you’re best at getting information or knowhow from discussion with others. What does this mean career-wise? Most likely you would not be happy sitting at a computer or working with numbers. You would most likely be good at counseling or even politicking. Being able to learn from others means that you are a good listener by nature that you came to this world with that skill or talent for a reason and that you best use it or suffer disappointment, for those who do not use it not only lose it but lose it with pain or dissatisfaction of not utilizing a given skill or ability.
By looking at your strengths, you are looking at skills and abilities that you excel in. Not that you shouldn’t shore up your weaknesses or make them into strengths, but by looking initially at your strengths, you begin where there is greater inherent success and opportunity so that in the long run you’ll not only potentially be happy but happily employed because you excel at what you do and aren’t just working in a job “Because . . . ” One of the main reasons many students have given me as to why they’ve chosen a major. In most cases, they’ll be of the 70% who waste 10 to 15 years of their life while leaving 100s of thousands of dollars on the table.
What Are Your Weaknesses and Shortcomings?
Many think that this is where one looks to find success, meaning, people think that all they have to do is shore up those weaknesses and shortcomings and “viola” success! As stated in the previous section, one needs to look to strengths to work toward gaining greater success and satisfaction in career and life; however, in order to achieve at the highest level, one does need to look to his or her weaknesses or those things that can take one down faster than anything else.
Consider the following. If you are a procrastinator, the chance that you’ll achieve success never mind obtain it are little to none. But the underlying reasons for procrastination are the key. Many procrastinate because they are fearful, insecure about achievement, never acquired the proper work habit, or just downright hate what they are doing. If the reason for procrastination is not fixed at some point in your life, you will end up of the 70% going backwards fast; wasting time money, effort, and happiness is guaranteed.
What Are Some Other Weaknesses?
You may be shy, withdrawn, feeling hopeless, sad, depressed, angry, resentful, revenge minded, a gossip, a dispenser of negativity, overly social, paranoid, desiring more to help yourself than others, unmotivated, unfocused, a lazy thinker, fearful, lack self-control, initiative, and leadership qualities, on and on. These and many more are the things that in combination can take you down faster than any course, college, curriculum, or degree from even a prestigious school can do to build you up.
There has been story after story of individuals not being able to achieve or maintain success because of poor thinking that goes on between the ears. Some may work hard at obtaining success, but once they’ve reached a certain amount of success they aren’t able to maintain it because they don’t have the necessary mental stability or knowhow. One of the keys in this area is getting the coaching that is needed. There is no one alive who doesn’t need coaching. Not even just to obtain knowledge or understanding but to maintain it or retain it. Because of the complex nature of achievement and the knowledge, skills, and attitudes necessary to obtain it / retain it, it is more than essential to maintain it.
We all fall into forgetfulness in regards to the things we do even those things that we do well. There are few if any who do not continue throughout life to maintain coaching or that which keeps the individual on the achieving edge.
Consider, for example, the professional athlete. What batter, golfer, tennis player, quarterback or runner doesn’t need a coach to keep his technique up to snuff? Even those who are successful need readjusting, and the more complex the system the more adjusting and maintaining required.
What Is Your Character?
Have you ever considered your character in regards to success or failure?
What about a moral inventory? Ever take one? Thought you might need one?
A moral inventory is usually used by those recovering from addiction; however, it can be used by anyone looking to improve. I once heard a recovering addict state that everyone needs to twelve-step. The "twelve-step" basically refers to coming clean and entails honesty, hope, a trust in God, truth, confession, change of heart, humility, seeking forgiveness, restitution and reconciliation, daily accountability, personal revelation, and service. And you don’t have to be religious or have a desire to find God to use the inventory either.
Some programs may vary, but most of these steps are similar. It all has to do with a desire to improve by accepting one's inability to go it alone, that we've hurt others and desire to make amends, to build our future life upon honesty, hope, and humility, and to work at doing all this on a daily if not hourly basis. Then as we mature we build in ourselves a greater and greater desire to help others. Who shouldn't desire or want to do this in his / her life?
Most if not all of us have emotional baggage or negative thoughts, emotions, and actions that to some degree rule our lives. In most cases, when we act out we are attempting to avoid the problem by seeking solace in some action. This action could be simple denial or it could be addiction to food, drugs, pornography, which are some of the more standard avoidances. However, there are others such as gambling, video gaming, shopping, collecting, reading, sports or anything that we do that helps us to avoid dealing with a problem, life, or reality. So you can see that many who may have initially believed they didn't need a moral inventory may have to reconsider.
Also consider the following statistic. If you come from a dysfunctional environment, join the club. 70% of America’s families are considered dysfunctional. What does that mean? It generally means that when a problem occurs, 70% of families are unable to function efficiently emotionally or as a social unit or fail to perform an expected function. That translates to an inability to function outside the family as well, thus translating to an inability to function as expected in the workplace and beyond. So you can see that the majority of people need to work on themselves? It’s nothing to be ashamed of but something that needs to be addressed, and the inventory can only help.
By doing a fearless inventory, the point is not that you won't have any fear, as expressed by the self-pumping "no fear" stickers that are displayed on many of today's automobiles, but rather that you will not let your fears rule you to the point that you will avoid the exercise. You will need to stop justifying, be humble, honest, and truthful in coming forth in exposing the painful, embarrassing, or difficult thoughts, actions, or events that have occurred in your life.
Remember, however, that the details do not have to be shared with anyone. You are doing this solely for your personal betterment. If you desire, you may hide your inventory and when finished destroy it. The main point here is to discover those things that are holding you back, not to create havoc in your life by exposing what to some may be too embarrassing to share. But you must be willing to be honest and to go deep.
However, if you continue to deny the truth, it will never be able to set you free. If you continue to live the lies, avoid the realities you will go in circles to your grave never growing, never ridding yourself of pain and discomfort (whatever level you may be at) that needs to be released, that is begging to be released and can be found in the great sadness, depression, disappointment, and failures that occur in life and only will continue if you do not do the moral inventory.
You need to release the dark to receive the light. There are no two ways about it. For every time you do something that encourages the doubt, the fear, the loneliness, the sadness that resides in your heart, you only encourage the wound to be deepened and strengthened. Dishonesty cripples our ability to reflect in truth and humility that enables healing. Only by going deep with pen and paper will you discover the liabilities that hamper if not destroy life. Only by taking a moral inventory of our self, of our life will we get to the dark that hampers and destroys if it stays too long. And the depth of the darkness varies from person to person, and some may have little darkness, but anything that is holding you back MUST be addressed.
But What Exactly is a Moral Inventory?
The word "moral" implies right or wrong behavior. But what exactly is "right"? For example, some may say that taking $20 found on the ground at a bus stop is not stealing but taking $20 dollars off a friend's kitchen table is. But what's the difference? The definition of stealing states that one does so if the original owner does not give permission to another to possess an object or intellectual property. So are not both situations stealing?
This is not a course in ethics; however, you have to determine how far you desire to take your inventory. An inventory here is finding all the "wrong" in your life or wrong actions, thoughts, words, and deeds that has turned your life for the worse. But what is "wrong"? Some will not take a towel from a hotel or a pencil from work because of a "lack of permission." You must determine through your own conscience how far you are willing to go in making a moral inventory list. You must let your conscious be your guide. By going through the process alone, by reflection through writing you will be prompted and guided.
But if need be, you may want to take extra time in reflection, thought, meditation, discussion with others you feel comfortable with or prayer in seeking additional guidance. You need to find out for yourself the "wrong" in your life. Through writing and reflection, a moral inventory will help you. Remember though, that you must write. You can't avoid it. The process is magical in its ability to reveal the forgotten, the hidden, even wisdom in your soul. Many a writer has said, "I don't know what I'm thinking until I write." How write they are.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Thorough, complete and exhaustive. Excellent contribution to the individual exploring all these issues. "Moral Inventory" especially good. Good read.Thanks Chris.If you did stand up that tells me you have steel innards. Praise you.I certainly developed them over time. And they come in handy in almost anything I try to do today. Great experience and preparation for public speaking, which I do often.
"Know thyself." You are so correct and summed it up in two words: "Know Thyself." You are definitely in tune with, "He that is in me, is greater than he that is in the world."Love it Rev. As usual, appreciate. PEace!
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